Marriage and Divorce

Divorce refers to the legal/official separation or dissolution of a marriage by a court or any other competent body. It’s a process which terminates a marriage covenant between two married couples as a result of disagreements or any other situation deeming it important for couples to live apart. Divorce occurs when; all parties agree to separate for the good of their children, families and their own lives. It’s such a painful process which directly affects the children if any, families and the couples themselves.

According to the Old Testament, The power to propose divorce was laid in the hands of the man; “When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her; then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house: 2; And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife” (Deuteronomy 24:1-2). A bill/certificate of divorce was the evidence for the termination of a marriage covenant, and granted each of the partners to continue their lives with any other person of their choice. Without this certificate, none of the divorced couple could engage in any other marriage.


On the contrary, according to the new testament teachings, The Lord Jesus Christ resolved the issue of Divorce and said; Matthew5:31-32; ‘’It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery’’. (Matthew19:8-9). Therefore divorce has no place in the life of Christians except for the sake of marital unfaithfulness and spiritual fornication and a divorced man or woman should not marry again as so long as his divorced partner is still alive.


According to the gospel of Matthew 19:3-9, the Pharisees tempted Jesus with the question about divorce, saying; “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for any cause?”, his response was loud and clear; “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female; 5; And said, for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave unto his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?; 6; wherefore they are no more twain but one flesh. What therefore GOD has joined let not Man put asunder”


The Lord Jesus Christ being the word made flesh; he could not go against himself. Scriptures teach us that, “Jesus Christ is the same today, yesterday and forever” (Hebrews 13:8), His ordinations have never changed since the first day He created them, it’s the reason why the sun which rules the day gives us heat and light daily without failing and as well the moon and stars at night, giving us light, these two great lights have determined seasons, days and years since the day God commanded them to do so (Genesis 1:14). The constellations have obeyed their creator and they have never desired to exchange or abandon their roles. Its only man who has always sought to defy the laws of the Almighty God and as a result, he has defiled himself and brought condemnation upon himself.


Marriage, unlike any other aspect of life is a lifetime commitment; the word of God clearly states that only death can separate the two people living together in marriage. “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the LORD” (1Corinthians 7:39). Our God is love (1John 4:16) and therefore He instituted marriage out of love, remember He created us in his own image and after His own likeness (Genesis 1:26-27), therefore him being love, we should as well love each other in such a way that He loved us and loves us daily. When God established marriage, He built it on love as its core foundation. The bible says that, “I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor anything taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him” (Ecclesiastes 3:14), therefore in the heart of God, there was never a word divorce or separation of loved ones.


Our Lord Jesus Christ said that; “Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so” (Matthew 19:8). This simply teaches us that, no matter the introduction of the certificate/bill of divorce by the religious men and government institutions, it’s still illegal and sinful before the Lord for us to put away your wife/Husband. Malachi2:16; For the Lord God of Israel saith that he hateth putting away; for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts; therefore take heed to your spirit. That ye deal not treacherously”.


The word of God therefore clearly teaches us that GOD is against this act of divorce, it was not his making and it has no space in his heart. Can you pause for a moment and ponder about these scriptures? Can you hear the heart of God bleeding for what humanity is taking so light and defending sin all day long? No matter how the courts on this universe might seek to defend this wicked act, the creator and author of marriage is against it; “Who is he that saith, and it cometh to pass, when the LORD commandeth it not?” There is none definitely. Therefore lets return to the Lord and walk in his perfect paths, nothing will surely come between us to break up our marriages, for thus says the Lord; “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:9). Therefore No authority on earth, above and beneath that has the power to put asunder what God hath joined.


What leads people to break the commandments of God is nothing but; disagreements, comparison of spouses and marriages (Covetousness), peer pressure, high demands, poverty, disobedience and lack of respect between couples, family background and pressure, permanent illness, fighting, quarreling, fornication, adultery, cultural differences and failure to adjust, religious differences and any other issues which can easily be solved. I strongly believe that we would not have any single divorce case among Christians if we are able to take into account the whole Word of God.

Choosing a marriage partner is the first step which should be done with a lot of cautiousness and prayer, getting rid of peer pressure and building your marriage on the three core values which is; the fear of God, Love and respect for each other. These I believe are barriers to block wicked spirit of divorce from accessing your marriage. It’s sad that we have lived as the world, the trends of the world have encroached the grounds of Christian marriages and the enemy is scattering without sparing, however, it’s not so late, you can save your marriage right now and restrain yourself from breaking the commandments of God. The pain that one goes through while terminating their marriage, the shame that the families suffer, the trauma that children go through and the tainted image in the community; all can be dealt with in one statement, LOVE.


The word of God says that; “There is No fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear; because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18). We should love our spouses without holding back with fear that we might be disregarded in the future. I have heard many parents giving their daughters such wicked talks towards their marriages, asking them not to love so much, that men could start disrespecting them, I assure you that those advices proceed from the devil who is the enemy of marriages, we should love without holding back, we forgive and forget, we respect because we have to, we endure and persevere with hope, and we pray for our marriages daily that God might strengthen us to live up to our vows.


Marriage is a ministry, and just as any ministry has challenges, so does marriage. We get married not to our brothers or sister we have grown up with but to someone that love brings along. If you surely have fights with your very brothers and sisters whom you have grown up with, how about someone you have met along after many years of your independent life. We get married to people full of mistakes, weaknesses and shortcomings but “Love covereth all sins” and bonds us. (Proverbs 10:12 & 1Peter 4:8)


I want to draw your attention to this kind of love found in the word of God, which I believe should be a yardstick to all who have divorced or planning to divorce, if you have really loved your wife or husband through each of these lines, and still went on to divorce, then God should have mercy on you, but I believe that, if we only could make this scripture our marriage mirror as we pray for it to manifest in us, surely we would Not see vows taken before our beloved families and before God, dissolved before wicked men in authorities. (1Corinthians13:1-7)


Beloved, lets embrace this love in our hearts and let it be expressed between us in our marriages, and then shall we live up to our vows and receive the blessing of God. How beautiful were the marriages of our fathers; Abraham lived with Sara until death did them part, so was Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel plus Leah and the concubines, and many precious marriages, to mention but a few. Let’s learn from them, where they made mistakes that we don’t repeat them and where they performed well, let’s embrace that, as we pray and as well forgive each other as much as God forgives us.


I pray for a divorce free generation rising in Jesus Name, Amen.


Shalom.


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